Already Gone
by rayaikawa
Summary: ASUCAGA Oneshot. Athrun wanted nothing more than Cagalli and when he finally did, things just had to turn for the worst. Read and Review!


**Disclaimer: I do not own Kidosenshi Gundam Seed/Destiny and it's characters. **

**Author's Note: This is a really sudden fanfic that just occured to me moments before I suddenly felt like sleeping. Forgive the quality. :)) Please do read and reviews will be much appreciated. Thanks! Enjoy~ :)**

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><p>People shuffled to and fro as if it was the rush hour instead of 3 o'clock early in the morning. The sun won't even be out in 2 hours but people obviously are making quite a scene. The hustle and bustle is normally annoying even for me, Athrun Zala, a patient man. However, right now, I can do nothing more than stare at the ceiling of the car that made such distinct alarms.<p>

A group of people gather around me as the automobile comes to a stop. Peculiar men and women in white push me inside a familiar building and before entering, I catch a glance of the night sky. It was a full moon. The stars stand in meagre comparison to its brightness that I all the more felt lethargic; weak.

I could feel neither my arms nor legs. As a matter of fact, I can't feel my whole body. Just after the important looking men who wheeled me into the room, a blonde lady followed. Before I knew it, she was looking down at me with those fiery amber eyes that were, ironically, welling up with tears. I feel a sudden poke from my arm. It was faint as if my senses were beginning to lose touch.

"Don't you dare, Athrun!" The blonde had yelled as her tears stain my chest. It didn't make much of a difference. It was already wet with blood. "Don't you dare leave me!" She had commanded.

From my peripheral, a lady in white injects some sort of green substance. Before I knew it, my mouth had been pried open by a tube. A doctor comes in and tells the blonde lady to move out the room for a moment. The lady argues. She cried and demanded that she's to be by my side with no prevalence of course. The doctor closes in. With a flat-iron like device on both hands, he pushes my chest.

"CLEAR!"

After the war, I have returned to ORB as an Admiral of the army. I guess it never really occurred to me how much I wanted to be back until, of course, the damage was done. I knew that this is where I belonged but I was too blinded to see that earlier. I knew my mistakes and that's why I desperately wanted to resolve them as soon as I could. It would never be too late, wouldn't it?

I walk down a very familiar hallway. The hallway to Cagalli's room to be specific. The room where Cagalli and I shared the most intimate and private moments we ever did after the first war. This was the room where we had our arguments and eventually where we'd also make up. This was the placed I loved the most, I realized as I stood in front of the large burgundy door. Why wouldn't I love this room? It belongs to the only person I loved, love and will be loving. But of course, matters need to be settled and so, I knocked.

"Come in." I'm certain it's her. No one ever sounded sweeter and at the same time harsh. Cagalli sure does know how to make wonders.

I walk in and it is obvious. She didn't expect me to be there. "Oh." Was what I got.

I stared at her for a good ten seconds until I finally had the courage to choke out the words I've been meaning to let out. "Cagalli," I began. "What's going to happen to us?" I was beginning to feel the air getting heavier. The stress and pressure isn't doing both of us good.

"Is there even an 'us', Admiral Zala?" Cagalli rose from her chair and went in front of her desk where I stood. Her words, her tone. It cut me deep.

"Well," I looked at her hand. No ring. Just a bare haunting image that could only mean: "No. There is no us… anymore." My voice started to waver; my last statement that was sprinkled on top by bitterness, regret and hesitation.

"Very well." She had replied with tears streaming down her immaculate facial features.

I began to tear up too. If she's as hurt as I am, then why? Why can't we be together? Why does she have to play this game of misunderstanding and miscommunication again? "Ca-Cagalli," I tried a second time. "I'm here now." But she didn't reply. She merely stared at the red carpeting. She continued to cry. She was deeply hurt. I cup her face with my two hands. I look straight in her honey-coloured eyes that I've admired since I met her that fateful day on the deserted island.

"I'm sorry." I said as honestly and as sincerely as I could. She said she was sorry too. And I brought her to a tight hug. "I'm sorry." I repeated. "I love you, Cagalli. I'll never leave you again. _Never_."

Kiss. A kiss was what we rarely shared for we agreed that it should be saved for special occasions as to not lose its meaning. Tonight however, our bodies agreed to be for each other once again after the staggering wait and resentment. Under the covers and feeling 'us'. Our night was spent this way. Simply enjoying the time we have and the companionship we were deprived from for the past year.

"CLEAR"

After the night we spent together, I woke up at the middle of the night.

"I have to go now, Princess." I whispered. "It wouldn't be nice if they discover I spent the night here." I continued as I kissed her one last time before buttoning up my now crumpled shirt.

"I love you too." She replied but was too sleepy and tired to show. I smiled inwardly. Things are finally falling to place.

I buckle in my car and for the first time after a long, long time, I'm finally happy. Crying in happiness even.

"CLEAR"

The early morning breeze was refreshing. It was a little chilly but very calming too. I'm almost home although I really believe that it's not home without Cagalli. I just had to take that next intersection but then a bright light had blinded me. Screeching sounds made by the impact camouflaged my cry of pain.

"CLEAR"

I feel a very icy chill run through my spine. Everything was fast moving and the lights kept circling around. Red, blue, green. The green light.

Beeping sounds come from the monitor where the green, almost neon, light radiate from. It has been beeping in a constant manner; always a second apart from the next. It's almost deafening, painful to hear. Breathing sounds in unison with the rise and fall of my chest. But that isn't what got everyone in pandemonium. It's the discrepancy that got people rushing in and out. Up and down, up and down. The green line indicates the ever so fragile boarder between life and death but right now, there is no pattern. It's just a straight line that goes along with that alarming siren. Flat. Monotonous.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow, or rather later I thought. I was supposed to go and report to Cagalli's office. We were supposed to kiss and make love again. We were supposed to talk about the future, fight for a while then make up.

I was supposed to be by her side… forever.

But then again, that's what would've been. Right now, as much as I want to, I can't hold her close to me. I can't say the things I desperately want to cry out and we could never be the "us" we wanted because fate said so. Our lips would never touch and our hearts could never express the love we have for each other any longer. No more warmth from our breaths that's just above our bare skin at night because I've become as cold as the evening breeze outside this room. Because I'm no longer here. I'm already gone.


End file.
